Welcome, [[VALUED CUSTOMER]]!

HELLO! I AM SPAMTON W. SPAMTON! YOUR NUMBER ONE [[DEALMAKER]]! I'M HERE TO GIVE YOU THE BEST [[OPPORTUNITIES]] IN TOWN! WITH ME, YOU'RE ALWAYS A [[WINNER]]! DON'T DELAY! ACT NOW!

DISCOVER YOUR NEXT [[BIG OPPORTUNITY]]!

(THE BEST DEALS ARE OFTEN JUST A CLICK AWAY...)